Wednesday, August 4, 2010

In My Words

I am blessed. Truly blessed.
As I sit here reflecting on the joy that is being a mother, with my eldest beside me doing homework, my youngest on my other side having dinner, and my darling middle child outside with his daddy, I am wondering why I complain so much.

I can say this now, because this is a good moment. An hour ago was not. This morning was not. Last night certainly was not.

{half an hour later}
Youngest is on my lap helping me out, had to help with homework, finish off dinner and attend to a 2 year old tantrum. Now, where was I?.....
Thats right, I have just re read the article by Jacinta Tynan, after having read it on the weekend, and then hearing her follow up on sunrise the other day. And for all of this week hearing everyones take on it.

{45 minutes later, had to feed middle child,chat to DH about his day and settle youngest}
Ok, as I was saying, this article has ruffled feathers Australia wide, and for good reason.
..."Quit moaning about your lack of me-time and unread novels"...

I would like to point one simple thing out here, this lovely lady takes her child to day care and goes to work. She has that wonderful thing that I used to be good friends with, that I used to know... what is it called.... ummmmmmmm thats it - ADULT INTERACTION!
I would kill for a reason to get dressed and do my hair and look like a normal person occasionally! Hell some days I would simply kill for the chance to be able to take a shower!
Having that can make a hell of a difference to a person!
While I dont regret my decision to stay at home with my children, and I do cherish everyday that I get with them, somedays I wish I could just be alone for a while. I wish I could go to the toilet alone. I wish I could shower alone. I wish I could get my hair done. I wish I could finally use my voucher for the beautician. I wish a lot of things. But I know that time will come. And then I will want these days back, so most of the time I'm happy to suck it up.

While I dont think I could ever say that I have had PND, I feel for those ladies that have, and reading this article must have been a real 'kick me while I'm down' moment for them. I have reached my low points, where being a mum seemed like the worst choice I could have ever made.
My mum was very ill when my 1st was born.She was there at the hospital with me when my little angel arrived into the world, a moment I will never forget, but sadly, I dont think its stuck there because of the birth of my child, but because it was such a special moment that i shared with my mum.
She passed (hate that damn word) 15 months later. It was torture, and to have to pull myself out of bed because it felt like the whole world needed me too was excruciating some times.
I stopped going places. I didnt leave the house. I put on STACKS of weight. I hated life. But I couldn't just BE. I HAD to pull myslef out of it for my child. While, in hindsight (isn't that a great thing?) I probably did have depression, not post natal depression, but post mother depression. And that was hard enough. If I read someone saying that somethign like that is EASY I would slap them.

Yes, we all cherish our children, we all love them, but goodness, motherhood being EASY? What a joke. Yes, these things are easy to DO because we do them out of love. But what about all the things that we dont get to do because of this love?

Jacinta, while I respect your story of where you are in your motherhood journey, I know that one day you will eat your words, you will be screaming for a chance to read a novel, have a shower, go to the toilet alone, and grab a quick coffee. But then again, you use childcare dont you?

Mums of the world, please dont let this article get you down, smile, because you are WITH your children, smile because YOU will see them grown up. Smile because you will be the person there when they fall. Smile because you are you - the BEST mother YOUR child could have.

While we may moan about it today, we will be able to smile at it later. We dont make the make the choice to be a mother because its easy. And it IS the hardest job in the world, if its not, then you arent doing it right!

Now, back to finding the novel that I'm going to read in 18 years time.



  1. Thankyou so much for writing this...I really needed to hear it today...I love being a SAHM and I love my girls...but yes, sometimes I would just like to go to the toilet alone...but then I could never imagine my life any other way...thankyou so much :)

  2. I just read this, thank you!
    I can relate to so much of it, I also 'lost' my mum, it was her birthday 4 days ago and the 13th marks 4 years since she left this earth.
    It was nice to read it, I almost felt like someone else knew exactly how I felt.
    I was lucky to share the birth of my 1st 2 kids (whom Mum adored) but not my 3rd child, I look at her everyday and imagine how much her Nana would love her.
    Through my tears, thank you for writing this and touching a stranger, I needed this, much love to you, Beck xoxo

  3. Thankyou both for your comments. Beck - I'm glad you can relate, its hard to find people that understand. My mum's story is a long and sad one, and I'm hoping that one day I might be brave enough to share it. Whenever you are down, smile and remember that there is someone else in the world that is feeling down with you and knows EXACTLY what you are going through.